He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
