He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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