so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
