Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
