I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
