we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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