Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
