you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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