somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
