You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
