Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
