i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
