Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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