its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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