I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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