sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
