Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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