Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
