have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
