nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
