So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
