Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
