i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
