he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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