I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
