i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
