Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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