so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
