i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
my shit smells like andre
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
