Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
