she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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