Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
