My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
