3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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