There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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