Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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