Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
