Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My dick has a subreddit
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
