# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
