Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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