im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i will never coherently bang her
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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