Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
