I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
