I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
