So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I checked into jail on foursquare
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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