I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize