I wish I could punch you in the face.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
