erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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