Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
