you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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