don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
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All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
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you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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