I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
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