we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Randomize
