What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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