TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Your cock deserves a montage
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
